(posted Saturday, August 14, 2004)
Fellow workers of glorious
At has come to my attention that all members of CCCP Central Committee are AWOL. Since Comrades Bearing and Mother Siberia are also missink, and obsolete Petrograd is only ceremonial Official, I Sergei Balderstonov do invoke my authority as Official of CCCP under regulation 23b, sub-section C, and assume command of all CCCP operations.
Please to monitor this channel for further orders.
AKA: The ICBM