New Orders

(posted Saturday, August 14, 2004)

From the Silo of Sergei Balderstonov AKA The ICBM


 


1st order: establish the chain of command.


 


Central Committee Commissar: ICBM


 


Officials:  Bering Strait, Petrograd (ceremonial)


 


All others: Tovarischii.  Members of Red Brigade can now apply for membership in CCCP.


 


2nd order:  Secure the perimeter.  General Kozyrev and Major Ursa to take up positions on roof of CCCP HQ.  Stop any un-authorized entry, to includink Red Brigade members .  Deadly force is authorized to maintain security.


All HQ locks and computer passwords have been changed.  Please to see ICBM for you copy.


Tovariscii Krushcev report to wall in ally behind CCCP HQ for firink squad duty.  Please to bring much ammo.


 


3rd order:  Reestablish discipline.  Mother Siberia and Red Menace (assumink he is still alive) demoted to Tovaricii for goink AWOL.  Red Savior, for desertink post as Commissar at times of need, please to report to Krushcev in ally behind HQ.  Official Petrograd to be polished to high gloss, and parade in Atlas Park reciting Communist Manifesto.  Faberge Gulag unit to report ICBM office (now known as “The Silo”), please to make sure hip mounted Vodka dispenser is full.


 


4th order:  All other Tovariscii reporting to entrance of Terra Volta Nuclear Plant for phase 1 of “Operation Pre-emptive Strike”.  Orders are to penetrate plant, and secure as much nuclear material as possible.  Return to the Silo.  40% casualty rate is acceptable.


 


Please to monitor this channel for further orders.


 


Sergei Balderstonov


AKA: The ICBM


Acting Commissar CCCP