A Union of Earth and Fire Pt 2

From the Story Arc: Hope is the Thing With Feathers

Previous Story in the Arc: A Union of Earth And Fire by Victoria Victrix (Saturday, January 10, 2009)

Next Story in the Arc: Field Trip Pt 1 by Victoria Victrix (Saturday, January 10, 2009)

(posted Saturday, January 10, 2009)

She watched him sleep.

So strong, so vulnerable. She could have killed his spirit with her reaction; could have destroyed his heart. None of that had occurred to her at the time. She had just--been honest. Love wasn't about possession. She'd never wanted to own him, despite all the posturing and the jokes. But she [i]had[/i] wanted, so badly it had made her ache in ways she had only just discovered, to be everything he needed. Or wanted. And she had been so sure, when he'd told her what had happened, that--

--that he didn't need or want her in his bed.

And she couldn'd blame him.....

Despite everything that had happened, when he'd finally fallen asleep, she had snagged a throw from the foot of the bed and wrapped up in it like a mummy, hiding her scars again from him. From herself.

But then--then something hard and cold and full of pain inside her had unwound, and let the pain go, and she unwrapped herself and rewrapped them both inside the plush coccoon, positioned her head on his shoulder so she could see his face and watched him sleep.

If she had spoken in anger--if she had deliberately hurt him--

--she would have suffered for it, his pain, cast back on her threefold. The geas she had bound to herself, after that terrible day when she had thought she'd lost him and won him back again somehow, would have seen to that.

She had forgotten that too, in the moment.

All that had mattered was her mangled body had betrayed her once again, and the certainty that no matter what he [i]said,[/i] no one, not even he, could overcome the revulsion that body would cause. And yes, for night after night, he had gently cared for that disfigured monstrousness when she needed help. But a friend would do that. Friends had. Lovers....needed beauty. Not even he could find her beautiful....

But he did. There had been no falsehood in the way he held her, touched her, loved her. Made her ache with joy.

Made her feel, finally, [i]real.[/i]

Dear gods, what had she done to deserve this man? [i]Dear gods, let me continue to deserve him.[/i]

She watched him sleep.