Subject Chug vs. the Family

From the Story Arc: WCO Report: Operation Black Lotus

Previous Story in the Arc: Status Report 3571-C "Operation: Black Lotus" by Chug (Friday, August 27, 2004)

Next Story in the Arc: Intercepted transmission... by Chug (Wednesday, March 02, 2005)

(posted Friday, September 03, 2004)

Begin Edited Transcription of Session 5...

Comrades, 5 Year Plan speaking. I am continuing the dictation sessions with comrade Chug. I have asked him to give his thoughts on the decadent organized criminals known as the 'Family'. I know he has had much dealings with them in the past. However I think he must find them rather uninteresting, because he has not elicited much information about them.

I am sure something will progress from these sessions as Chug becomes more comfortable. He is still rather confused with some things I ask and I think he still expresses some distress. This is the second table I have had to get from the local dump, as he has eaten the last two. Similar as before, these are the accompanying illustrations Chug has provided during his dictation session.

I suppozed to talk about da family. I dunno why dey call themselvez da family cuz der no mommy or daddy. Just lotz of guys in suits an hatz an ties. Dey must be sad dey no got mommy cuz dey always real mad and act mean. Sum guyz must dink dey real strong cuz dey always wanna hit Chug. But dey real silly, cuz I tuff. I hit dem back an dey get knocked out all da time. Dey not tuff like Chug.

Dere also guyz with boom sticks. An guyz with rattat gunz. Dese gunz not tickle me like da 5th kolumn guyz. So dey not as fun.

Dis iz me with sum mean family guyz. I try to open mouth real wide an eat da bullitz dey shoot at mez. Cuz da rattat guyz alwayz say I eat lead. Dey must be alwayz mad cuz dey not gud at shootin like komrade Khrushchev an komrad Urza Major. Da famliy guyz always miss my mouth.

I really like the consigi... conz... conspaghetti guyz, cuz dey know magic. Dey make stuff appear and dey throw stuff fer me to catch. I not gud at catchin stuff and it mostly bounce off my head... But dey real fun to play wiff. Dey also like to play freeze tag cuz dey make me stay real still. If I play freeze tag with otherz, I wuld pick dem to be on my team cuz dey real gud at it.

Dis me tryin to catch stuff. Sumtimes dey make real bug stuff like carz appear. Dey real tuff to catch. Me not know why dey throw stuff like ballz at Chug to catch...

Dis me with sum guyz dat are da boss. I guess dere no daddy, so dey iz in charge of everyone elze. Dey strong like Chug, but dey get real mad at me cuz I alwayz tell dem not to smoke. Smokin iz bad fer you. I dink dey not able to play long cuz dey smoke too much an dey get real tired fast.

Dis me with Kommisar Mojiotok. I beat up all da family so he real happy. And he give me balloon. Den I go play wiff balloon in da park. THE END...