Report: Prodigal Daughter Returns
(posted Tuesday, May 25, 2004)
Comrades. Red Saviour has returned to us. She is undergoing intense mental therapy with comrade Pravda, digging out nuggets of Nazi propaganda and throwing them to away. Replacing with bunnies and flowers, I do not know, but am relieved that she is safe and not crazy.
On 5/23, we received warning from comrade Petrograd that Red Saviour was planning attacks on CCCP. I set up security system at apartment, told sexy girlfriends to stay away and not use hot tub for special Mojiotok Surprise until crisis resolved. Very frustrating.
On 5/24, system alerted to presence of Red Saviour. Superspeeded over to apartment, sneaked in. Pretending to be asleep. Crazy woman, she sniped me through window! Must have learned that in Soviet police force. Hurt, but played like possum. Oh, I am stunned, help me mother! Let her smash me around some. All black costume cute, but skull symbol very silly. After some knocking around, very annoying, she tied me up and waited for me to wake up. Kept muttering to herself about CCCP, Fifth Column, "ants in head, eating soul", crazy woman talk. Not too different from normal, but a little. Pretended to wake up, amusing.
She interrogated me about my role with Fifth Column infiltration of CCCP. Interesting thought: what if they were trying to infiltrate CCCP by sending back crazy woman? Our big Russian hearts would take her back and comfort her, while some plan unfolds. Is dangerous. Broke bonds, knocked her through wall, very expensive. Got picture of USSR flag and waved it in her face, yelling at her. Gentle touch stupid, need firm hand. She came to senses. I told her about craziness, she admitted it was so. Progress! I coaxed her with shot of good expensive vodka, fixed her up, she talked about Fifth Column indoctrination and facility she attacked with Education Officer.
Obviously, she needed to defeat Education Officer to get peace in mind. Contacted comrades, met them by King's Row Sewers. They were concerned about Red Saviour, I explained she was back and on trial period. Watch out for craziness behavior. She apologized for plotting to kill all CCCP members. Is progress.
Have pictures from attack on Fifth hideout in gallery 2. Very tough battles, many soldiers. CCCP comrades Ununtriarch, Petrograd, French Tickler, Russo Roulette, Blazing Silver handled themselves well. Red Saviour a bit shaky but did ok.
So, is all back to normal? Nyet. Red Saviour busted back to Tovarich, no responsibilities. Telepathic mental therapy with Pravda three times in week until he says she's fixed. Superpower training with comrades Petrograd and Russo Roulette to control powers. But old, nicer, less sociopathic Red Saviour seems to be coming back. Is relief, can stop thinking about it and return to hot tub surprise... studying Marx in hot tub, of course. And teaching young American girls about Marx, and controlling means of production.