CCCP PR Operation Wag Dog -- Strict Compliance Required!
(posted Wednesday, June 02, 2004)
Comrades. Public Relations arm of CCCP, consisting of Pravda, Spin Doktor, and General Opinion, have created new program to regain public trust in CCCP. With return of Red Saviour after unfortunate rampage, we must soften her image of crazed sociopathic woman.
Studies have shown that workers of the world like dogs. Are fluffy, obedient. Thus, Spin Doktor has commissioned creation of good Communist superdog, to be CCCP mascot and Red Saviour's pet. Will make her look caring, nurturing, and distract attention from murders and property damage.
Dog is being flown to America this week. Dog's name is Young Champion. Is cute dog. All members of CCCP must publicly fawn over cuteness of dog. NO EXCEPTIONS. If allergic, see CCCP staff doctor for allergy medicine. Photo sessions will be arranged of CCCP "training" dog to fight crime. Cuteness must be observed at all times.
Strict compliance is required with this public relations program. Failure will result in censure.
Attached please find adorable dog picture. Is to be used for promotional purposes. Handbills will be created for handing out to children while on patrol.