Task Force Worker's Swift Fist of Justice

(posted Monday, June 28, 2004)

Am pleased to be reporting that Task Force Worker's Swift Fist of Justice was unqualifying success. After allocating team members to two teams, I led Officials Red Menace and Bering Strait, and Tovarischii Soviette, Tokamek and Captain Communism in daring raids against Clockwork outposts. Team was so mightly that I was hardly needed for smashing.

First capitalist loser Synapse sent us around city checking scanners. Was stupid, pizza delivery style work, suitable only for American teenager. Also to infuriate, Synapse had turned off his cell phone. Convinced that he was mocking CCCP, we plotted his defeat. However, he finally directed us to useful task, smashing robots in warehouses and abandoned office buildings. Robots immediately demoralized by appearance of CCCP, put up puny resistance and then crushed by bolshoi communist hammer of righteousness.

Comrade Captain Communism and Official Red Menace walked up to robots and smacked them like misbehaving childrens. Tokamek and I laid down covering fire, and Soviette and Bering Strait weakened great groups of them for highly efficient smashing. All while Soviette kept us at full glow of health. Is no defeats on our task force! Only victory. Hospital made no money that day. Comrade Soviette deserves commendation.

Notable was Comrade Bering's restraint in not acting like lovesick puppy around Soviette. Was anniversary of favorite rat's death, he was wearing black for the mourning. Also comrade Captain Communism, despite his relative lack of experience compared to rest of team and mightiness of foes, did not hesitate to wade into combat like it was kiddie pool. Many little gears and bolts sticking out of his stone armor. Comrade Captain Communism deserves commendation.

After crushing resistance at captured building, we were taking of breather when I look over fence and see gigantic robot racing towards us! I took picture for People's Blade, who loves big robots. Then we made soup out of Babbage. Was easy, we thought Clockwork King was mocking us. We plotted his defeat. Soon, stupid Synapse, who miraculously discovered power button on cell phone, sent us to Clockwork King's "court." We expected heavy resistance from elitist robots, but encountered very little. Clockwork King had fishbowl on head, but human brain inside. Clearly, had succumbed to capitalist weakness. CCCP swatted him like decadent fly.

And before it began, was over. Task Force Worker's Swift Fist of Justice was indeed swift. Thanks to efforts of our group, and Mojiotok's group, Paragon City will not be troubled by Clockworks again. If are, then is obviously weakness of capitalist system.