Red Brigade Reorganization

(posted Saturday, July 03, 2004)

Comrades. In light of Worker's Champion's draconian new policies, which I seem to have misplaced memo of, is around here somewhere and surely will look for it after charity mixer for wheelchair-stuck dityii, is very sad. In light, we are activating Red Brigade to be primary group for CCCP recruits while CCCP old guard bangs out what to do about stupid new policies from Moscow.

Free Radical has been made Commissar of Red Brigade. However, Free Radical tells us she has abolished class distinctions, which rank is worse offender of, and given all Red Brigadeers equal say in collective decision making counsels that must reach consensus on every issue. This enlightened freedom has kept Free Radical from getting one thing done, except run up CCCP bill at local Kinko's. Is need for Astrobrights for 1500 anarchist pamphlets? Nyet, I think.

Da, so Free Radical has been reassigned as, er, Propaganda Minister for Red Brigade. Decisive and responsible 5 Year Plan has been volunteered to whip group into shape. In vodka consultation with me (funny story, I make him drink vodka, he slurs speech and says "Fffffife Yr Plen", cannot hold liquor!), we have made list of new Red Brigade members.

Is list:

5 Year Plan




Siberian Maid





Siberian Saint

Lord Rasputin

Sasha Privyet


Siberian Saint

General Kozyrev


All listed above should report to 5 Year Plan, Untermensch, Free Radical or other officials in group and receive new membership badge.

I salute new reassignees, encourage them to fight hard for Worker's Paradise and make Red Brigade as great as CCCP! Also, submit proper paperwork or face excoriation.