Lost

From the Story Arc: Finding the way home

Previous Story in the Arc: The Garden of Eden by Arch Angel X (Thursday, June 09, 2005)

Next Story in the Arc: Dark Skies by Arch Angel X (Thursday, June 16, 2005)

(posted Thursday, June 16, 2005)




Xavier in an instant lay upon the cold ground of the forest he had just left. Someone or something had sent him here, blocking his path of death. He stared upward at the moonless sky that was sprayed with countless stars.

My name is Xavier or at least it was once, I am no longer sure. My first memory after my fall is standing up on unsteady limbs, blinded by the light of the sun and the heat beating down against my beaten metal armor. My wings unfolded behind me, to my absolute astonishment. That was my first complete thought, why would God allow me to keep the mark of his children after he cast me away?

Upon a momentary survey of my surroundings I discovered I was alone in the forest. At first I believed this solitude would be a sanctuary where I could repent my sins against my father to seek redemption, but that thought was short lived. He sent me here for a purpose, not only for punishment. But what was that purpose? I could not remember. In fact, I was quickly forgetting everything my father had endowed me with. I had seen him do this to others who had fallen from him in the past. So in a moment of desperation I grabbed a twig from the ground and wrote in the soft earth before me. ‘My name is Xavier and I am a child of God.’

I climbed into a tree next to where I had written in the dirt and perched myself on a branch. Here I attempted to sleep, but the noises of the wilderness gave me no peace. With the sun I rose to admire what I had written the night before, committing it to memory before I left this place to find what it was I was supposed to. To find what I had forgotten.

“Xavier, hurry up!” A young girl called from beyond the woods in a voice of boredom and tedious waiting.

But I stood transfixed and unable to move as a young girl in a bright blue dress ran down the hill laughing and smiling as the sun reflected in her golden hair. She stopped just in front of me, breathing lightly and smiling, the light twinkled in her eyes and my heartbeat increased.

“Hello there,” I shyly said.

Giggling, she ran off and I was strangely compelled to follow her, ignoring my better judgment that this could be yet another test. I knew she’d give up soon and wander off slowly, willing me to pursue her. I turned to the exit of the woods, silence had fallen whilst I had been in a stupor, and not even the sweet singing of birds was heard. I saw the girl again and her laugh sounded in my ears.

“Come, follow me.” Such a gentle voice that all the melodies of the world could not distract me. Up the hill I ran, after her, always following the glimpse of blue dress that matched the eyes of an unknown angel.

Through the trees I sped, faster and faster and as I ran the sky turned a deeper and deeper shade. Twilight fell and still I ran. Forever just a glimpse in the distance. The stars twinkled overhead and the moon grinned on, laughing at the fool who chased a dream.

Then she was gone, no glimpse of fabric caught my eye. A sense of such longing arose in me. I was alone and lost in the forests. Where to go? How far had I run? The trees leered at me, glad for new prey to haunt and terrify. Their leaves reached down in a grotesque form of an embrace, reaching for me with sharp thorns, which threatened to bleed me dry. Deformities in the bark turned into eyes before my bewildered sight and the broken twigs of the branches fingered at my hair and tore at my clothes. The moon laughed in his sky, his bright light shining down on my distress, so eager to get away from this horror. My walk gone horribly awry and I knew it wasn’t over yet.

I had traveled for miles across varied terrains each worst the next. I was exhausted, dehydrated and my feet were blistered and bleeding. The night’s shadows played tricks on my eyes and things that I knew were not there seemed so real to me. A palace of sorts although not as majestic as those in heaven rose from the ground and towered just upon the next hill.

Xavier walked up the old steps, the pain in his heart consuming him. The old steps creaked beneath his feet with each footfall. He almost considered turning around but forced himself on. When he reached the landing he stood for a moment before the huge black door. He took a deep breath before reaching out to knock.

Before his hand could touch the door it swung slowly open. He had expected it to creak but it moved silently. Had it opened itself?

In the throne sat a stunningly beautiful woman. Her deathly pale skin was set off by the flame red color of her long hair. She wore a black sleeveless shirt which ending abruptly beneath her breasts and an ankle length black skirt sat delicately on her hips. This left most of her pale torso uncovered. But what of the young girl he had followed for such a journey.

“I thought I smelled an Angel” she said with a slight bitterness in her tone. I continued to walk towards her catching the faint aroma of Frangipani and Jasmine.

Now I was truly confused, she knew who I was, but I had never met this woman. “How do you know me?”

Her eyes went to the floor, a small smile spread across her face for a split second. “This is how I get you.” She spoke meekly, not intending for me to hear what she was saying. “Do you remember anything?”

“My name is Xavier; I am a child of God. I do not remember you. I do not know why I am here. I do not know for how long. All I know is my name. But you must know because you know who I am. Who are you?”

“Almena”

She stood from her throne, her green eyes shining, and walked past him to shut the doors. She clapped her hands and the werewolf woke up and stood. It gave Xavier a snarl and made an unusually courteous bow to Almena before it followed.

She sat back down on the throne and crossed her legs, the spilt on the side of her skirt revealing an ashen leg.

"What did you do?" She asked directly.

Xavier shrugged. The room was bare of seats so he sat at the base of her throne. "I don't know. He wouldn't tell me why." He looked up at her. "I can't believe He'd throw me out of Heaven." Xavier’s voice was full of disbelief.

"Why?" Almena asked fiercely. "That's how He is. He's fickle. Did you learn nothing when He abandoned Lucifer?" Her fury subsided. "Or when He abandoned me?" She said quietly.
She stood suddenly, startling Xavier. Walking over to a far bench she continued. "So why have you come to me?" She poured what appeared to be absinthe into a tall fluted glass.

Xavier stood and looked at her like it was obvious. "Can you to help me get back in?"

She turned to look at him and laughed, her red hair catching the light. Her smile disappeared. "I've been stuck on this planet since the Fall. Forsaken to darkness, forever to feed off the human race. And you think I can help you get back into Heaven?" She made a sound of disgust. "Please, if I knew how to get back in I would. If only to tell Him how much I hate Him."

Almena took a sip of her drink and saw the look of horror on Xavier's perfect face. She smiled kindly. "I know you still love Him. But you've only suffered his absence for days. I felt it for eternity. And why? Because I wanted to be Adam's equal." She shook her head. "If He's so damn omniscient why didn't he see that coming?" Her smooth voice dripped sarcasm.

"Almena" Xavier pleaded. "I think that you are the only one who can help me."

She stepped toward him. "You're right, I can help you." She smiled and Xavier unconsciously drew away. The smile was eerie. It was filled with an untold knowledge.

"You'll make me an Angel again?" He asked, unsure.

She almost laughed. "No, my love." She whispered seductively. "I'll do much better than that."

Xavier was hit with a sudden dizziness. The room seemed to spin around him. Red hair filled his vision and then, everything was black.

When he opened his eyes he knew he felt different. He felt power.

A soft voice penetrated the conscious of Xavier and whispered to him “Oh Xavier, how quickly you have forgotten, I have given you a gift a gift of love do not forsake it”.

“Seraphic---?” Xavier spoke under his breath. Almena turned quickly and stared at him.

“What did you say?”

“What? ---“he paused for a moment to catch his bearings “nothing---just a lapse of some sort”.

“No! You said a name---I heard you, have you brought someone with you Xavier?”

“No---I am alone. See for yourself there is no one here”.

“I guess---but you still seem different. I feel an energy emanating around you, strange though the energy is strong enough to be another person yet I seen none. Never the less the transformation is complete”.

He jumped up knowing he was an Angel again! Xavier ran to the mirror to see his wings. When he saw himself he pulled back in terror. Almena had worked her own brand of necromancy on him. His skin, which had been dark, was now stark white like hers. His teeth, like hers, were sharp. Xavier was a Demon.

He felt he should be destroyed by this horrid transformation but he wasn't. All he could focus on was one thing. The pain was gone.

“What have you done to me?”

“Oh don’t act so surprised Xavier, you knew as soon as you came through that door what I was”.

“What have you done to me? I am a creature of utter hate; you have turned me into something I have been created to despise, to destroy. Rivulets of tears streamed down his face as he strived to cry out.

“I have helped you Xavier, helped you to forget the pain of losing God that had torn you apart. You now have a freedom that no Angel had ever felt”.

She smiled and watched Xavier closed his eyes. She had opened a whole new universe up to him and she knew he would never grieve for the loss of Heaven again.

Tears wet his face, stung red veined eyes. One last breath, on last shuddered sob, then only the kiss of open air.

“I must leave this place” Xavier shouted as he placed his hands on his newly formed curved horns.

Xavier felt a thousand eyes upon him as he walked through the empty room. His pace quickened as he heard the resolute sound of muffled footsteps. He looked around quickly for a place to hide, but found nothing but the ever present smooth, white walls surrounding him, trapping him. Suffocating him.

“Escape” the deafeningly silent voice whispered. He looked up at the window, leagues above his head. He then looked at the smooth white wall, the untarnished path to freedom, its perfection making it impossible to scale. As he stood and stared up at the window, the ever present footsteps neared. He spun in terror to face the unknown haunt, to see…nothing.

“So you thought I would let you see me, did you?” the mocking voice taunted. He shrank back in fear, attempting to become part of the wall.

“That won’t work…I am everywhere, you cannot hide…” In terror, he tried to reach the window, but fell short of her goal. He resorted to curling up into the fetal position, his back against the wall.

With a final cackle, the voice faded away. For now, he thought. He knew it would be back. He began to pace around the room, waiting for the demon’s inevitable return. He placed his hands to his ears in a vain attempt to stop hearing the voice that was tormenting him so.