A call in the night .. again?! WTF?

From the Story Arc: Bestla's Diary

Previous Story in the Arc: The hideout of Vazhilok by Bestla (Monday, July 12, 2004)

Next Story in the Arc: Speachless by Bestla (Wednesday, July 21, 2004)

(posted Sunday, July 18, 2004)

Dear diary,
WTF?

It was already dawn when ------DRiiiiiiN---
Lady Bestla
"Oh please leave me be?"
Synass
"Are you kidding me, five minutes ago I had a report of the whole WaterOfMarch taskforce getting wiped out by the clockwork king. I thought you were going to dispose it, taskforce GarotaDeIpanema. What about our deal? WHAT ABOUT MY BABES AND GLORY?
Lady Bestla: Listen up, you jerk. We ran your errands and city trips for the grand total of 9 hours; when I started in ragmuffistan it was the sunset, and when we finished the dawn. As for the popularity, forget it: you are the biggest nerd I have ever met, and belive me, being in weird brigade I've met my fare share of them.
First: You have an electricy sense? On Strauss-Hienz nerdness Classifications it's stated as EXTREME NERD. And ok, so you were stuck in the ass bay a lightining so I guess you know are some sort of sensitive: well for your information, the mig bother of robot 50 feet tall bursting with ELECTRICS FIELDS was at 300 yards from you all the time. Thank you, electrical sense.
Second: You speak like a nerd and you know it. Hell, when we finally defeated babbage you told me "YOU PWNED HIM, w000t!" Are you idiot? Are you a grizzled veteran of Return to castle wolfenstain? Do you have a life at all, aside from stading on your hill looking idiot?
Third: You have some major psicological issue about Positron. He at least is NORMAL. I can't decide wheter you are gay and secretly love him, but at same time hate him becouse he is not gay..
SYNASS
Wait a moment, I'm all about babes!
LB
Then you have just a BIG inferiority complex. It's all right, since you ARE inferior to almost every lifebeing on the planet, so hug your complex and your hill, and don't move.
As for the babes: you have electric sense, you dress like an idiot, you're skinny, superfast (ladies don't like this), you speak in L33T. I think no matter how many clocks we bring down, you won't date a woman. Never. NEVER EVER YOU NERD. Be thankful that the striped dwarf, minx, is also deaf, so she can't here the things you spit out.
SYNASS
"... sob ... you're... so mean to me... suckz00r"
LADY BESTLA
Wait.. let's talk about the BFG ((quake anyone?))MK1 to MK 4 . MIRACLE BLADE MY ASS! BFG Mk1 exploded in my hands when I tried to shoot. Mk2 exploded in my hand and in face of a tesla knight, when I tried to shoot. He stood there, stunned for 3 seconds. If I spray a soda on their visor, they stay stunned longer.
Mk3 well, was quite an improvement. When I shoot on cutterbug for a test, he just made him more fluorescent, when i shooted at Babbage, who was just appearing beside us he just yelled "LAM3R, YOU SPAWNCAMP3R!". What's this? Did you sent us after your former rtcw clan? Your all mother****ing community? What's the deal, they banned you from the gamefaqs boards?

SYNASS
But.. what about Mk4, that's the work of a genius!
BESTLA
GIVE ME SOME FRIGGING AMMO FOR IT! Why in the burning hell you gave me one shot, It lasted just enought time to take a photo of Clockwork King stunned and punch him one time!
SYNASS
But the teamwork... your squad...
BESTA
No kostyak, no blacklist, no grenny. Cutterbug: the chosen bug. He think I'm in love with him, I even had to tell him that i'm dating with Mojiotok to make him stop (which is a lie, ok?). He's fluorescent and very talkative, but as all bugs he has no psyche nor special powers aside from being big (for a bug) and very embarassing. Untermesch: it's a WWII pow. He hasn't had any sort of scholarization (not even elementary), nor an engagement with a woman for ... all his life? He wear a wig which it's his primary concerns in fights. On the other hand he just HAD to let us know all his body is VERY hairy. I want to puke. (Note for commander Red Saviour II: I want to sue him for sexual harrassment, he almost forced me to watch)
SYNASS
But I sent you reinforcements, a denfender and a topshot Blaster!
BESTLA
Defender: A normal guy with some soap bubbles similar, but probably more powerful, than the ones from mother syberia. This is ok, save from the fact they don't give any protection against the king. Not the slightest. As for his... attacks? Well, he had some sort of laser beams, but really, the beams of Tokamek targeting drone are more damaging.((he was a nice guy, really))
Blaster: I don't now if you were aware of this, but she's a empy body remotly controlled by a dolphin. And i don't mean a superintelligent dolphin who helps the CIA solving matters of national security. Just a plain, normal, fish eating, flip obsessed dolphin.
For some strange reasons she has a serious issue with generators in the labs. When ligthings were raining on me like if I was a blasted ligthing rod, she was constanty off, blowing generators and debuffing her to oblivion. We spent almost two hours in the labs, but we coudn't come up with a tactic to make her stop. But the worse was yet to come. At some point she stood there in the battlefield, immobile. We were getting pounded by a massive couple of conjointed Tesla Princes. I was flabberghasted. "What the hell are you doing, kid?" Eventually we somehow won the battle. She was updating her bio. From that moment on, 40% of her time in battle was spent updating the bio. The best ideas apparently came only when we were getting spanked. She was quite safe, at least, and didn't die one: updating your bio don't generate much aggro. She had 19 levels before meeting us to update the bio, but hey, she HAD to wait for the taskforce. Later she even discovered a new means to communicate, which probably is a great things for her, being a social animal. She communicated with us THROUGH the bio! "Guys wait, i need to update my bio... (2 minutes).. ok, check it" Bio->Hello, what's up? Am I doing fine?<- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ((Oh please we want PVP NOW!))
Once I even got stuck in a wall, I don't know how, but i coudn't exit... i gues becouse my body melted for all the lightining I soaked up and the solidificated in the wall. Anyone I stood there 10 MINUTES waiting for someone to help, eventually I was free ((thanks to a gm)) only to discover she was able to teleport me. "Why in the burning hell didn't you teleport me out?""What?.. wait guys, i need to.. check a thing" "You're not updating your bio, please tell me you aren't." Bio->LOL I'm sorry for that!<-
Was this bio a great masterpeace, you ask? No. It was like this: "I've a girl and i'm not very tall. My characters are always small. I don't have many contact in my friend list, but now I found new friends and we can grow togheter. I like summer and watermellons." Either a dolphin or Miss America, really.
SYNASS
But all paragon is laughting at me, I want the babes, the glory, the clockwork king must die. Don't you want your single origin?
BESTLA
Yes just to take it and thrust it in your ----CLiK-------