Status Report 3588-C "Operation: Black Lotus"

From the Story Arc: WCO Report: Operation Black Lotus

Previous Story in the Arc: Home by Chug (Monday, April 18, 2005)

Next Story in the Arc: Some Great Adventure... by Chug (Saturday, August 27, 2005)

(posted Wednesday, August 24, 2005)

Comrades, we have obtained the most recent oral dictation session of Subject C from our operatives within the Chinese Ministry of State Security. This information will be useful in further intelligence of CCCP and Young Champions. I have forwarded copies of the session to Division 2. This information should supplement our existing dossiers of the mentioned heroes.

I also think that we may consider efforts to utilize other agents in CCCP if they are active (Red Eye 1.0, Petrograd, and Khrushchev) as potential test subjects for Operation: Black Lotus. Details from the recent session of Subject C indicate they may be useful operatives requiring limited psychological conditioning.

Major Peter Pikal
WCO Superhero Defense Division Rho

Edited Transcript of Session 7...

Comrades, unit is continuing oral dictation sessions with Comrade Chug. He is in good spirits today and unit has decided to not press him with upsetting questions. Unit thought it would be better to have him provide impressions of other heroes in CCCP and Young Champions. Unit has limited association with many of the other members, and felt that additional information would be useful for easing integration of unit into existing organization. As by standard protocol unit is supplying illustrations produced by Comrade Chug during dictation session.

Function 5

I supposed to talk about da odder heroes in CCCP an da Young Champions. Funkchun five says sum peoples talk about us in real bad way, so I shuld say nice dings about dem. I dunno why people dink we bad, cause we always help da people in Paragan City and everyone in CCCP and da Young Champions real nice. [whispers] Cept' Untermensch cause he a big meanie... So I gonna draw me playin wiff sum of dem.

I try real hard an be gud. Sumtimes I get all confused about wut I suppossed to do. And sumtimes I make mistake and eat stuff I not suppossed to. Untermensch always tell me to eat papers on his desk. An I get confused about what desk. So sumtimes I eat da wrong stuff and da kommissars Peoplez Blade and Red Savur get mad at me. I try real hard to be gud but I purty dumb.

Odder people in CCCP really good at beatin up bad guys. So dey always help out Chug in saving gud people. I not too gud at fightin stuff so I always need help. Dis is me an Bestial Boy an Agn an Carpathia an Sister Soyuz an we beat up all da bad guys in an office because they really mean an want to hurt all da nice people.

I get to play with odder heroes dat make da bad guys do funny stuff. Like dey make em all sleepy or run around and beat up odder bad guys. Dey make Chug all fast too. So I run around an around an around an around an around. But dat makes me real dizzy an sometimes I get sick. An odder heroes can teleporty Chug. Dat purty fun too. But sumetimes dey tellyporty Chug too much an I get sick.

Dis is me with Gato Rojo an Sister Shuma. I get teleporty lots an dat make my tummy all icky an I get sick. I feel bad when I do dat. But dey all nice to Chug an not get mad at me when I get sick.

I purty tuff but sumtimes I have to fight a lot of stuff an I get a boo boo. So when I get a boo boo dere are heroes dat make Chug feel all better. Dis me with Social Medicine an Soviette an Belladonna and dey make me all better cause I get a boo boo.

Some odder heroes can make friends to play with us when we go get da bad guys. It lots of fun. Dey all call em little workers for da State. But I like to pretend dey are Chug's friend. Maybe I could could go with them to da park an play. But dey always dissappear. I dun know how dat happen so it must be magic.

Dis me with Shyft an her friend, Mr. Boing. I call him dat cause he make all the bad guys go, 'Boing! Boing! Boing!', like rubber balls. An Communard. I like Communard's friend, Mr. Smokey, lots.

Sometimes Chug get to play games with people in CCCP. Like Willum Tell. When da kommissars out of town doing stuff, Petrograd, Red Eye an Khrushchev like to play with Willum Tell wiff Chug. Dey make me run around with an apple on my head an dey try and shoot it off. It purty fun. Dey always shoot da apple. Sumtimes dey miss and hit me but dat okay cuz I tuff.

Dere lots of gud heroes in CCCP. Some of dem are gone an not come back. Dat make Chug sad. But dere new heroes too in CCCP. I hope dey are friends with Chug. Maybe we all can go to da park an play. I would like dat. I love all my friends in CCCP. Cause dey all gud heroes.