Help is on the way

(posted Friday, September 02, 2005)

"Help is on the way." The soundbite resonated in Red Saviour's head. The American President scrambled to make up for bad infrastructure and his foolish waste of money on invading countries by mouthing platitudes. Meanwhile people were dying of thirst if they hadn't already drowned, in his own prosperous country.

Natalya cursed him and the Americans for electing a weak leader. The swearing gave her a burst of energy. Shouldering the workman aside, she hefted the two hundred pound outboard engine and slammed it into the cargo plane.

"Ma'am...ma'am, please, we have forklifts for that."

"Bah. Too slow! Start loading rafts."

Moscow had howled in fury, but Red Saviour had diverted a substantial portion of CCCP's monthly budget to supplies for the devastated city of New Orleans. The American disaster response crawled at a snail's pace: she went from puzzlement to fury to decision in an afternoon.

Behind her, Heavy Brother hefted a palette of chemical suits, too flimsy for serious HAZMAT but adequate for resisting the foul flood waters. She didn't think victims would be too picky about fashion. For her, the increasingly tight CCCP uniform provided enough protection against contamination, despite Mosca’s fussing.

She surveyed her crew, all grim-faced with determination, yet relieved to be able to contribute: People’s Blade, Heavy Brother, Commie Cowgirl (who looked absurd in a chemical suit and cowboy hat), even the odd little American boy Tip Top Lad, who sang inspirational camp songs until he was silenced by a dirty look.

A workman approached her nervously. “Ah, ma’am, everything is loaded up. Water, food, the rafts, clothing. The pilot is convinced the plane will never get off the ground.”

“We Russians have a little trick for that,” she said. “Is called Comrade Shyft, and she will be here momentarily, along with whoever else responds to my call to actioning.” She checked the time on her comm. A smile of satisfaction found her lips. It was time to teach these Amerikantskii how to clean up their messes.

(( I’ll be away from my computer for the next five days, so I figured NOLA could use a little Commie super-aid. If you want to add a toon to the relief mission role call, feel free. ))