Mandatory Zeal Assessment
(posted Wednesday, September 07, 2005)
All Tovarischii must complete this assessment or face excoriation!
Comrades, the lack of revolutionary zeal in the ranks has been noted by the Commissar.
I, Communard, as acting morale officer, have been charged with implementing a re-education program. The assessment will commence by having tovarischii answer the following situational questions. You are expected to be forthright and truthful in your responses. (N.B., comrade Chug has been granted an exemption by the ad hoc committee on simpleton
Instructions: circle your response to the following questions/situations.
1) You and Commissar Red Saviour enter a Council Base. Lenin's Ghost! There is a bomb about to explode! What do you do?
a) I throw myself on the bomb and try to deactiviate it or at least smother it
until it detonates.
2) You and Commissar Beastial Boy have just entered a praetorian dimension. You must deactivate several computers. Lenin's Ghost! It's an ambush! How do you proceed?
a) I throw myself into the enemy, hoping that my sacrifice will give the commissar
enough time to deactivate the computers.
3) Comrade Communard needs volunteers for a neural-nasal shunt experiment. Are you thefirst or second to volunteer?
a) I am the first!
b) Forgive me comrade Communard for not demonstrating the requisite alacrity!
4) You are in the abandoned sewers with Commissar Red Saviour. You are looking for ahostage. The commissar makes a left turn down a drain, but you are sure that the hostageis to the right. How do you proceed?
a) Ah, comrade Communard shows his wit! We Tovarischii know that the hostage is really to the left.
This completes the first battery of questions. After the data are calculated you will be