Unsound

From the Story Arc: In the Service of the Revolutionary Tradition

Previous Story in the Arc: Leadership by Communard (Wednesday, July 13, 2005)

Next Story in the Arc: Project Striker by Communard (Wednesday, September 21, 2005)

(posted Wednesday, September 14, 2005)

Balthazar leaned back in his chair and sighed. He reached for his cattle proud and gave himself a three second jolt. There! That was better. He had been watching their hidden CCCP closed-circuit TV for three hours while the rest of his crew rampaged in Talos Island. Enough's enough, he thought. He reached for the power switch. Just then a figure entered one of the rooms visible to the spy-cams. It was Communard. Balthazar sat down and opened a can of Red Rage Energy drink. Communard was busy. On a large poster board he drew columns and labeled them: Politically Illiterate, Kulaks, Ideologically Unsound, Reformist-Deviationist, Anarcho-Syndicalist Deviationists, Bourgeois Trash. Balthazar snapped a screen shot. Communard dumped out a grocery bag of pictures and began sorting through them. He looked back at the poster board and added a tiny column on the far left side, Proletarian Heroes.

"What's going on boss?" Balthazar looked up to see Alfonsus and Pile Driver, his two
favorite tank smashers. "Communard is up to something, but I'm not sure what." The
tank smashers stood behind Balthazar and watched the monitor. Communard had finished sorting through the pictures and he was now taping them to the poster board. Balthazar increased the resolution and zoomed in on the poster. "Hey," Alfonsus piped up, "I know them scum!" Balthazar nodded. Under Politically Illiterate Communard had taped pictures of Chug, Red Djinni, Kid Crisis, and virtually every other member of the Rebuild Paragon Congress. Communard continued taping pictures to the poster board and began whistling Verdi's Aida. Congress Man was taped under Bourgeois Trash, and the bulk of the CCCP and Young Champions membership was divided between Ideologically Unsound, Reformist-Deviationist, and Anarcho-Syndicalist Deviationists. Balthazar took another screen shot. He motioned to Alfonsus and Pile Driver, "Make yourselves useful, damnit, get me pork rinds."

Communard was still taping photos of heroes to the poster board. Rancor and Hegemon had been added to Kulaks. Communard hung up pictures of Red Saviour and the other Commissars under Proletarian heroes. He stepped back from the poster board and crossed his arms. Then he moved half the heroes from Politically Illiterate to Bourgeois Trash, then moved half of those to Kulaks. He stepped back and crossed his arms. Alfonsus and Pile Driver entered the video station with a fify-five gallon drum of pork rinds. The three Freakshow began eating as they watched Communard.

Four hours later Communard was still arranging the pictures. He now had about 150 pictures on his poster board. He had moved some of them three or four times before settling on a column. At one point he had placed every picture under Bourgeois Trash, but he had quickly rearragned them. He had stepped out briefly only to return a few minutes later with a fresh roll of tape. Balthazar sighed. "To hell with this, let's go to Crey's folly and hospitalize some heroes." He flipped a switch and the monitor went black.