Recommended Watching

(posted Thursday, September 15, 2005)

Comrades,

As you all well know, television (or TV) is the new opiate for our suffering proletariat masses. It is also source of unending entertainment and a superior outlet for party propaganda.

For example, the Alexander Griffith Show on Nick at Night provides an interesting glimpse at a Communist utopia. Commissar Taylor is a stern but benevolent military personality, whose menacing undertones keep the rest of Mayberry's bourgeois scum in line. Otis is a worker with a taste for lively entertainment (in the rich tradition of Dostoevsky's Marmalodov!). Goober Pyle, a sturdy worker with mechanical skills, and his brother Gomer, a savvy military man, provide good role models for any young informants who may be watching. Aunt Bea is a sturdy, corn-fed woman of the proletariat, keeping Opie on a firm Communist track. Even Floyd the Barber, a party informant who listens to all conversations and trains his watchful gaze on suspicious visitors from the capitalist hell-pit Mount Pilot, has a meaningful role as he carefully acquires valuable secrets for Commissar Taylor.

The only negative influence on this show is the enemy of the Soviet peoples, Barney Fife. This pathetic excuse for a party official is often seen quaking and making poor judgement decisions, effectively undermining the crucial threat of force that Commissar Taylor perpetuates in th community. I'm sure our friend Floyd the Barber has quite a thick file on Kulak Fife! Haha!

Essentially, the Bear highly recommends this show to any comrade who desires to see an ideal Soviet community. Maybe Commissar Taylor will execute that sniveling traitor Fife in an upcoming episode. I cannot wait!

-Bear