What's in a Name?

From the Story Arc: Something Stupid This Way Comes

Previous Story in the Arc: Party by BioHazard Boy (Friday, September 30, 2005)

(posted Friday, September 30, 2005)

The question was puzzling him. He was sure he knew the answer once, but he felt like he had forgotten. Of course, it was hard to figure out how he could have forgotten anything, since he had no conscious thought until about 2 hours ago. And he was pretty sure he remembered everything since then. It was certainly a conundrum, but the irritated City bureaucrat in front of him didn't seem to appreciate that.

"I repeat, and I'll use small words....WHAT .... IS..... YOUR .... NAME?"

The boy puzzled over this question some more. He was sure he had a name, in fact, he remembered his father telling him his name. But his memories of his father were not quite memories, more like dreams. Images floating in his consciousness, random quotations, and a feeling of being wanted. He knew he had a name, he just couldn't remember what it was.

The bureaucrat was pointing to the paper again, and he was starting to look angry. "They really sent me a winner today...jesus christ."

The boy knew he had to give an answer. "I not shur I knows...." The official started to throw away his new hero application, and the boy panicked. If he didnt' become a hero, he would never find his father, who was one of the greatest heroes of the city. He grabbed the bureaucrats arm.

"I not shur....BUT....some puhson today say I look like Beeohhazza Boy..."

The official raised an eyebrow. "Come again?"

"I say, dey say I beeoohhhazza boy."

"Listen, I don't speak cretin, you are called what?"

Panicking, the boy tried to speak clearly. "Bie-oh-haz-za Boy", he said in his best "confident" voice, and puffed out his chest.

"Biohazard Boy? Hmm....that names not taken yet, so its yours." He handed a small device to the newly named hero, filled out the form, and immediately went to the restroom to wash off his arm.

Biohazard Boy looked at the device, shook it, licked it, and started pushing buttons on it. He heard broadcasts from all over the city, heroes calling for aid, suggesting strategies, and arranging for meetings.

"Wow! Dis gwate toy! Dere lots o' tiny peoples in here!" Skipping down the steps of Atlas Plaza, the newly Christened BioHazard Boy continued to have the best day of his life.