Memo Re: Red Saviour reappearance
(posted Thursday, May 13, 2004)
From: Central Committee, Worker's Champion, chairman
To: CCCP Membership
Greetings, comrades. I am pleased and relieved to report that Commissar Red Saviour has been found, and has recovered quickly from her ordeal. What follows is a briefing on facts in case, and official CCCP party line to which you must adhere.
Red Saviour was kidnapped by our most hated enemy, the Fifth Column. Long has she fought them, and ruined many a mad scheme. The hate in their hearts was so great that they could not kill her. Rather, they wanted to humiliate her and own her, as fascists desire to do to all the peoples of the world. Thus they undertook a program of brainwashing, using scientific, and possibly arcance, techniques.
We have had intelligence that the Fifth Column has been experimenting with magical secrets, and now our comrade is the proof. They subjected her to a series of sorcerous experiments, designed to destroy her will and imbue her with power, to make her the ultimate weapon to be used against us. The media has recently been filled with appalling images of Red Saviour corrupted into the Fifth Column's pawn.
Fortunately for us and the world, Red Saviour's willpower is indomitable. She overcame the conditioning and broke free of the secret lab, destroying it in the process. She returned to the CCCP close to death, but quickly recovered. Her trials have taken their toll, however. She has lost much of her martial arts prowess, though she trains daily to regain it. Her mental state is what you would expect for a victim of torture and brainwashing. We are sure our cheerful and radiant Communist sister will return to us in due time. Her CCCP comrades have told us that her new belligerence and arrogance is certainly a temporary condition, and they happily support her as she readjusts to life in the real world.
As for her newfound powers, they are puzzling. She appears to be a vessel for unknown mystic energies. She is able to project them, with great accuracy, with but a gesture. What fighting skills she retains are enhanced by this energy. They have also given her the ability to defy gravity, where previously only the mutant Ununtriach has been the only CCCP member with this uncanny gift.
The CCCP's official stance on this issue is delicate. Red Saviour was a symbol that bridged the gap between the old style Communist apparatchik and the new perestroika Russian society. In the West she has become a symbol of unity between our culture and America, our former enemy. These recent events have tarnished her image in the American public eye; conservative radio personalities are calling for her blood. The cringing American Left, such as it is, looks the other way rather than risk embracing a fresh pariah. The American Public seems to be less forgiving, given the circumstances. However, the photos of a brainwashed Red Saviour attacking a research lab are a black mark on the CCCP.
Our position, to be reiterated at all times by all members (including Red Saviour, should she need to be reminded of this), is that she was the victim of a kidnapping and mind control experiment. The CCCP tracked her down after she attacked the laboratory, and recovered her. The mind control effect was removed with no harmful side effects, and she has returned to her normal self. However, this trauma has awakened her nascent MUTANT powers. Now she returns to duty, more able than ever to fight evil.
Action items: I task Commissar Ununtriarch with insuring that all CCCP members are consistent when presenting this explanation. Aberrations from the official story WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. I task Commissar Mojiotok with negotiating with American Maxim Magazine over Red Saviour's subsequent assault of writer of her recent, unfortunate interview. Use CCCP funds to pay hospital bills, replace car, rebuild home, pay off witnesses and police, and of course victim. Be sure that victim knows that should he choose to reveal details of attack to the world, the CCCP may be slower in restraining Red Saviour this time. But assure him that survivors will be compensated fairly.
Lastly, I task anyone in CCCP with trying to convince her to return to wearing previous, official costume. New costume is decadent and inappropriate.
Yours in continuous revolutionary struggle,
Worker's Champion, chairman