super-powered procreation

From the Story Arc: In the Service of the Revolutionary Tradition

Previous Story in the Arc: Excoriation: Kid Crisis by Communard (Thursday, September 22, 2005)

Next Story in the Arc: Gone to Flesh by Communard (Sunday, October 08, 2006)

(posted Wednesday, October 12, 2005)

To: Commissar Red Saviour
From: ad-hoc sub-committee on super-powered procreation
Secretary and Chairman, Communard

Dear Commissar Red Saviour:
You are pregnant! Congratulations! This is an exciting time for
you. It is an exciting time for us all! Expectant mothers have
many questions: what should I eat? How big will I get? What
changes will my body go through over the next few months? But
the most important question we are sure you are asking is: "How
can my pregancy best serve the collective?" You are right! This
is a remarkable opportunity for us all. The most important thing
you can do is participate in one or more of experiments we prepared
for super-powered mothers-to-be.

We have enclosed a helpful full-color brochure that explains the
various experiments and protocols available to you. This is YOUR
baby and it is YOUR experience. Do not let anyone tell you different!
We will work with you to find an experiment that best fits your
goals and schedule. These experiments are all 100% safe. In fact,
our research has demonstrated that it is safer to be experimented on
than not during a super-powered pregnancy. Most importantly, the
whole family can participate in the experiments. Some of the
exciting opportunities available right now include:

1) During pregancy a woman's blood volume doubles! In a completely
painless procedure we would replace half your blood with Solution
Plasma 452. This solution is [expurgated] spectacular results!

2) Bourgeois studies have shown that exposing your unborn child to
the counter-revolutionary music of Mozart may improve mathematical
aptitude. Just think of the results when we bombard you and your
unborn child with Mozart's music filtered through our nuclear
powered Freakshow sonic modulator!

3) Mother's begin bonding with their child before it is even born!
But what about the father? Fathers often feel left out and isolated.
What can be done to help the father? We propose a neural-nasal
shunt be implanted first and then the father be indiscriminately
treated (bombarded) by radioactive capicitators!

These are just a few of the exciting projects we have prepped and
ready to go! This is a special time for you and we hope that you
will take advantage of these special opportunities.