Idealogically Sound Viewing

(posted Thursday, March 30, 2006)

Official Memo
To: All CCCP Comrades
From: Soviet Bear

Comrades,

Since Comrade Bella has ordered all comrades to have physical examinations every month, I have taken it upon myself to watch idealogically sound television and report to you, sturdy workers of the CCCP, of the benefits that watching idealogically appropriate shows can do for your well being. Below are several programs that are worth watching if you are alert like THE BEAR:

Island of Worker Gilligan: Comrade Gilligan and his commissar, Skipper, must deal with the agony of dealing with deficient underlings while trying to escape from remote island. Most irritating is the useless capitalist fool, Thurston Howell and his vapid wife; I wish Commissar Skipper would grab him by his means of production and give him the thrashing he deserves! Haha! Also on the island is Professor. He can devise ingenious inventions out of coconuts, but they are usually squandered by the dastardly bourgeois Howell, or used to trick poor worker Gilligan into a comprimising situation. There are also ladies, the utterly useless Ginger and sturdy worker Mary Ann. Ginger would be sent to GULAG, but Mary Ann can work on collective cocnut farm in worker's paradise. Sadly, the naval vessel Minnow had no weapons, leaving poor Gilligan at mercy of the bourgeise and the intellgensia! I can hardly bear the suspense.

Amerikanski Idol: Foolish Americans make terrible noises and are yelled at by stern tribunal of party officicials! Reminds me of when Communard would speak and Commisar Saviour would have him excoriated. After Americans fail at singing and are properly chastised, they are removed, never to be seen again. They are probably sent to labor camps. After the initial field is thinned, they exile even more contestants! What a joyous show! I do not know what the winner gets, but it is probably freedom and a passport.

Horosho Times: A family that lives in a fancy Soviet housing block deals with hardships and suffering. It is very inspiring and funny as the father tries to pursue materialist gains, just to be pushed back down into the comfortable life of the proletariat. Even the resident anarchist, J.J., is amusing, saying that everything is like an explosive to him. However, he does not compare to the jovial party informant Rerun from Kak Delo?.

I hope this will be helpful our membership stay mentally strong!

-Soviet Bear