Toeing the Line
(posted Friday, March 31, 2006)
From: Belladonna Aura, Commissar
Subject: The future of the CCCP
Now that Red Saviour has taken up the position left vacant by Worker's Champion, there are some small changes that will be made to your everyday lives.
Our beloved leader is going to be under close scrutiny and it is imcumbent on us to make sure that the CCCP does not let her down.
The minor changes to procedures follow:
1. CCCP Medical will be following the mandated monthly medical examinations as laid down in the original directives. Please see the signup sheet and get yourselves logged in for a time slot. If you are not comfortable with either myself of Thanh Ha performing the exam, Waitron9000 has been programmed to perform them also, and her abilities have been tested first on myself, then Thanh Ha, then John Murdock, who kindly volunteered to make sure she didn't confuse male anatomy with female.
2. New members will be required to submit their applications in wrting through the established channels, and undergo a testing period with one or more of the officials authorized to do so. This will noti be waived, no matter how good a friend to the CCCP the applicant is.
3. Communard will no longer be permitted to install or even suggest nasal shunts, as he is ot a medical officer, and this is not an authorized medical procedure.
4. Those CCCP members with Soviet passports are reminded to keep passports and Hero Visas up to date.
5. Those CCCP members with Soviet passports are reminded that they are exempt from US taxes under Statue 470178.93 of the United States Tax Code: "Exemption for super-powered alien volunteers deputized by Freedom Corps" The Central Committee would see the paying of US Income Taxes by Soviet volunteer nationals to be an example of the Commisar's neglect of her troops.
6. This, however, does not mean you are exempt from Soviet taxation if you have not kept your "Hero Of The People" status updated, so make sure your license from the State is also up to date.
7. Have some form of uniform available. Your personal garb in CCCP colors will suffice, but choose one of the two official uniforms as soon as you can for an alternate.
8. Be prepared for inspections on no notice.