What's In A Name

(posted Wednesday, November 15, 2006)

From: Commissar Belladonna Aura
To: All potential new recruits, all CCCP members
Subject: Names

Comrades and potential comrades. It has come to my attention that there are too many of you with the samn damn name. Too many "Reds", too many "Stars" and way too many Alexanders. You are confusing the Commissar. Confused Commissars tend to issue orders for inappropriate medical exams with Waitron with the refridgeration unit in her hands turned on.

I yell for "Red" "Star" or "Alex" in the base, and half the base answers. It's like living in a Tolstoy novel where everyone has the same name.

I am not asking you to change your names. However, if you cannot on your own come up with something a bit more descriptive of your own personal oevre to call you by, I am herewith assigning nicknames.

In the future, any "Red," "Star" or "Alexander" will be assigned a nickname based on popular cultural icons.

The first three will be "Larry," "Moe" and "Curly." The next six will be "Happy," "Sleepy," "Grumpy," "Bashful," "Sneezy" and "Dopey." I reserve "Doc" for myself. Unless one of you new recruits happens to be a doctor, then you can have it.

Please do not make me descend to the level of calling you by Smurf names.

Yours in service

Commissar Belladonna Aura