(posted Thursday, December 07, 2006)
***OFFICIAL CCCP COMMUNICATION***
Commissar Bella has recently informed me that, effective now, you are my commanding officer. Since I am your first official subordinate in the CCCP, I thought I would lay out one simple rule: If you make any inappropriate advances, or try to fondle, grope, or press yourself against me savagely, professing your innermost desire, I will be forced to report you for abuse of power following our weekend of torrid lovemaking.
I know it will be hard to keep your hands to yourself, but you are married, and you should not upset your husband. Whenever you gaze at me and think of that small hourly hotel near Galaxy Park with the bright pink shades, just know that your betrayal would become public and your shame total, because I would be forced to report you to the Commissars following our ten-hour (which would be seventy-five dollars, in case you were wondering) lustful romp.
I know my body and mind appeal to you in ways that mere words cannot express (nor can I blame you), but simply put, such an erotic, illicit affair would be morally wrong.
If you would like to borrow seventy-five dollars, let me know. I have it in my Hello Kitty bank in my freight container.